I messaged you before but my head was in a mess. I told you about how I had an abortion last year and now I can't stop thinking about having a baby it's mostly all I think about. I would love to have a baby but I need some advice on my choices. I am 16 and a half if that helps. My brothers girlfriend had a baby last week and they all live with me. it's difficult to deal with it sometimes. With nobody knowing as well. My abortion was not wanted it was almost forced upon me but it's regretted. x
It really hurts my heart to hear that you felt like your abortion was forced on you. I hope that you can find the peace and healing that you need. I don’t know if you’ve seen any of my other posts on this topic, but please think about calling any of these after-abortion support lines:
You say you’d like info on your choices, but I think the first thing to think about is figuring out what your life will look like if you have a baby now. Some practical logistics to work out:
- If you get pregnant in the next few months, when would you end up giving birth? What will you do about school at that point?
- Who will help you pay for healthcare for you and your baby? Who will help you pay for baby supplies?
- If you go to school or work, who will take care of your baby while you do that? If you don’t work, who will support you and your baby?
- Where will you live? Is there enough space for a family there?
- What is your career goal? How will you achieve that goal with a baby? How would you achieve that goal differently if you did not have a baby?
- Do you have a partner? Will that partner stay with you if you decide to have a baby? Would you want to have a baby with that partner if they decide not to stay with you?
- How do you want to raise your children? Do you want them to live in a specific type of household with specific rules, education, resources, etc? Could you provide that for them now?
- What are the major ways that you would need to change your behavior if you decide to become a parent?
None of these is a reason to not have a baby, I just want you to be thinking ahead so that you can be the best parent you can be. The answer to those questions might be “I don’t know right now.” You might also find good answers by looking into the resources in your local area. What types of teen pregnancy and parenting organizations are there? Ask your guidance counselor at school, ask your healthcare provider. Did your brother and his girlfriend have any help? Where are they living, and would they be willing to share hand-me-downs with you? Really explore all your options before you make the decision.
Good luck with this major decision! Let us know what you decide.